Friday, November 23, 2007

INTEL retards are infesting this blog

Patty should be ashamed of himself...

Phenom is out, and the only thing he could do is having an army of Intelers pasting four letter words on this blog.

You can get the Black edition Athlon X2 + Call of Juarez for $99.

94 Comments:

Blogger Giant said...

AMD NOTEBOOK SHARE DROPPING RAPIDLY:



Asustek Computer has adjusted its notebook strategy to increase the proportion of Intel's Santa Rosa Refresh and Montevina platforms up to 90% of its notebook shipments, while dropping AMD-based platforms from 30% to around 10%, according to sources at the company.

In line with Asustek's move, market sources commented that as AMD has not shown any obvious growth in its notebook platforms, the company's notebook market share might only reach 12-13% in 2008.

Asustek expects its notebook shipments in 2007 will increase to 7.2 million units, with branded notebooks occupying 4.2 million of the total, noted the company sources.

Asustek aims to become one of the top-five notebook vendors worldwide in 2010 and a top-three vendor in 2013, according to the company.



BUY INTEL hi performance, energy saving, low cost cpus, platforms, video solutions and growth stock.

10:40 PM, November 23, 2007  
Blogger BONER said...

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

1:34 AM, November 24, 2007  
Blogger Chuckula said...

Sharikou: Considering you ARE Boner the retard, why are you complaining? Not taking enough medication there?

Seeing anything intelligent on this blog would be like you saying something honest about AMD's actual products... ain't gonna happen!

4:50 AM, November 24, 2007  
Blogger webmaster said...

It is the time to close this blog

5:08 AM, November 24, 2007  
Blogger DrPizza said...

Morons like boner who just paste drivel need to have their fucking comments deleted.

5:57 AM, November 24, 2007  
Blogger oneexpert said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

10:46 AM, November 24, 2007  
Blogger oneexpert said...

AMD & VIA MARKET SHARE RISE AGAIN

Latest ATI Linux Driver Brings Support for Ubuntu 7.10
- AMD Catalyst Linux 7.11

By: Marius Nestor, Linux Editor

A new version of the ATI/AMD Linux display driver was released last night for both x86 and x86_64 platforms. This release is a bit special, as it includes support for Ubuntu 7.10. Moreover, starting with this version, the ATI Catalyst software suite does not support the Linux kernel 2.4, XFree86 4.3 software and workstation hardware.

intel has no linux support hence nothing released for intel at all, noda, zilch, less than nothing, thats intel.

intel stock downgraded again.
75% of intel investors have lost money with intel in the last 6 years.


Here comes the XO Laptop

Jack Kapica, November 22, 2007 at 5:04 PM EST

One of the most ambitious non-governmental aid projects is the One Laptop Per Child project, which had started life as a notion of putting rugged, simple computers worth $100 into the hands of Third-World countries.

The project is on track, more or less, although this sub-compact computer is now called the XO Laptop and the cost is $188 (U.S.), with hopes to drive it down to the original $100 over the next year.

Launched at the beginning of the month, it is being sold in an interesting campaign: People who want to participate (in the program called Buy One, Give One) will pay $399 for two of these machines, one of which will be sent to a Third World country, and the other to keep. The offer lasts only until Monday, Nov. 26. It should be an effective way to get people to participate and kick-start the program.

Canadians can get it from the One Laptop Per Child organization, or call 1-877-70-LAPTOP (1-877-705-2786) to order the unit over the phone; the Canadian partner in the program is Nortel.

Another interesting thing is that the Quanta Computer, the XO Laptop’s contract manufacturer, believes it could ship 5 million to 10 million units to countries such as Argentina, Brazil, Libya, Nigeria, Rwanda, Thailand and Uruguay.

This is a staggering figure. If the OLPC people can reach that goal, it will have one colossal impact outside of the Third World: The future of Linux.

The XO Laptop runs a variant of Red Hat Linux. Put that in 10 million machines, say, and Microsoft should start sweating. Redmond will, of course, emphasize that it is not competing with the OLPC project, but when 10 million kids grow up with Linux, their future purchases will certainly be coloured by what they grew up with.

JOIN THE OLPC AND AMD and help create a new world peace and prosperity.

In the end, if you're looking to make the most of a long-term investment, AMD is without a doubt the better platform choice than intel.

ONLY AMD and VIA have control of the trillion dollar low end market, no intel here.

intel out to lunch while the worlds largest market segment computes on with AMD, VIA, and IBM.

pentium 3 glue ups have no future.

World Wise investors have just placed nearly 700 million dollars into AMD stock, nobody is buying intel.

AMD attracts confident investors.

BUY AMD hi performance, energy saving, low cost cpus, platforms, video solutions and growth stock.

Please join AMD in its support of the OLPC and their effort to create World Peace and prosperity for all.

10:52 AM, November 24, 2007  
Blogger Evil_Merlin said...

Once again oneexpert proves he can do nothing but cut and paste press reports and toss in his whole innacurate "comments" at the end.

Thus once again, I will reply with:

Oneexpert do you have any ORIGINAL thoughts?

yes, we all know about the OLPC.
yes, we all know its going to "save the earth"...

You keep claiming that AMD and Via control the low end chip market, but you fail to understand that Intel has a 1 watt CPU available NOW and has had one for quite a while. You also FAIL to understand that Intel's Celeron platform accounts for nearly 17% of Intel's overall sales, which makes that more than AMD sells overall. You also fail to realize that with the release of Peryrn, Intel's chips consume less power at both idle and under load. You also fail to realize that Intel can easily win a price war with AMD. AMD cannot afford to do so as they are already bleeding money quickly. As for your investor crap...

1.) Intel moved 36,434,066 shares of stock today. AMD moved "only" 10,236,020 shares today. That means more than 3x the number of people that bought or sold AMD stock, bought or sold Intel stock. AMD's stock is at the lowest it has been since 2003. Lets not even get into the fact that AMD is sittingon 5.3 billion in long-term debt. Thus your thought that no one wants Intel stock is not only wrong, its fucking idiotic.

2.)The fastest growning, largest profit and biggest year over year profit maker for the past 3 years in CPU's have been LAPTOPS, which Intel controls. Intel's processors FAR FAR outperform AMDs processors and to claim Intel has no market there is just making you look more like an assclown every time you post that drivel.

3.) If those so called "Pentium III glue ups" have no future, why have they already sold millions of processors? Why are they outperforming AMD's latest and greatest, all new technology K10s? Lets not even mention the fact that Intel is ramping up 45um faster than they thought and are hitting speed bins at a much higher percentage than originally thought. You can blather all you want, but there has yet to be ONE review that hasn't been showing the success of the peryrn based Intel CPU over AMD's Barcelona/Phenom chip.

4.) If you think the foreign investment in AMD is a good thing, you best go back to Finance 101 and Business 101.


Since you can't post anything other than what you cut and paste from press releases, I doubt you will even have the mental capacity to read this comment, let alone comment on it. I guess being as stupid as you, does have its advantages, IE you don't have to think and you let the hospital take care of all your needs.

11:52 AM, November 24, 2007  
Blogger GutterRat said...

sharikou,

Now that the cat's out of the bag with regards to "rev 10h"'s abysmal performance, price/performance, and power compared to Intel, I see you have taken to hawk the K8, 90nm Black Edition X2.

Nice job. Self-fraggery is the best form of flattery.

Quiz: what do these things have in common?

Chernobyl
The Exxon Valdez
The Hindenburg
Bhopal
The Titanic
"rev 10h"

Answer: They're all Great Disasters

1:09 PM, November 24, 2007  
Blogger Evil_Merlin said...


Phenom is out, and the only thing he could do is having an army of Intelers pasting four letter words on this blog.


Thats because Intel doesn't have to do a damned thing. The C2D already outperforms the Phenom, and the Peryrn based CPU's kick it to the curb.

You really do live in an alternate realitity in your pea-brained mind don't ya? One where you have a PHd and one where AMD is actually doing everything correctly.

Are you SERIOUSLY suggesting that AMD currently holds the performance and power consumption crowns currently?

2:48 PM, November 24, 2007  
Blogger The Burninator said...

INTEL PUMPERS!!

This is just the first of the beiginnings in the AMD dominitude where the Super-plus Phenoms will
...... oh fuck it.

To whom it may concern:
Several readers of this blog may have noticed the sporadic ramblings of a user with the nom de plume of "The_Burninator". I believe that while farce and satire are potent weapons in polemic discourse, this particular discourse has come to its inevitable conclusion. The_Burninator's musings are no longer necessary, since the hyperbole, cognitive dissonance, and absurdity that he archetyped have been co-opted by others on this blog (I'm looking at you one_expert, and you too boner).

Where are The_Burninator's spiritual roots? I began with Voltaire. A cliched muse perhaps, but when in doubt go to the best for inspiration. His depiction of Pangloss from Candide formed the essence of The_Burninator's undiluted, irrational, and rather annoying optimism with anything and everything related to AMD. The claims of having 1 Billion K10's ready to ship at stratospheric speeds above 4Ghz, that a 2.4Ghz K10 would be several thousand times faster than Intel's best chips (after benchmarks showed otherwise), and that AMD would make $500 Trillion in an illusory anti-trust judgment all effervesce to the surface as excellent examples. The amalgamation of sharikou's naked indifference to fact, one_expert's complete obliviousness to the actual argument at hand, completed with a dash of pezal's mathematical incompetence, and another dash of Beavis (he of Beavis & Butthead fame) formed The_Burninator's psyche.

As to the matter at hand, while I have used AMD's fine products in the past, this truly is business. That means going with the best product at hand instead of formulating religious affiliations with one multi-billion dollar soulless corporation against... another multi-billion dollar soulless corporation. In situ, both the server and desktop versions of the K10 have been grossly deficient from the grandiose posturing of Messrs. Allen & Ruiz. The long design process, and the dilatory nature of the launch lead one to conclude that this puffery may have been intended to hide deeper perfidy of a possibly venal nature on the part of AMD's leadership. However, such inequities are for ultimately in the purview AMD's shareholders via derivative action, and are not truly the stock of blogs such as this.

To paraphrase The Bard: "Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your ears. We come here to bury K10, not to praise it". For two years AMD stood astride the world like a Colossus, but it failed to live up to the great burdens that a Colossus must bear and it toppled as much under its own weight as it did from the onslaught of slings & barbs of the competing Intel demigods.

Which is truly the greater tragedy, the man that lose greatness and despairs, or the man that loses greatness yet cannot or will not see that it is finally gone? Perhaps if Saladin's hordes fully conquer AMD, or if another suitor deems AMD's tarnished dowry is sufficient then AMD will rise phoenix-like to fight again. However, while the future leaders of AMD may learn from the egregious (and some might say intentional) errors of the present regime, it is beyond certainty that those running AMD's ship perilously close to the shoals of insolvency shall never share in such portended future glories.

With that, ladies & gentlemen, this minor farce comes to an end. When will the final unmasking of the true farce follow suit?

9:57 PM, November 24, 2007  
Blogger Louis said...

Hector Ruiz will be out of a job before Q2'08. If anyone can't remember, that is when Sharidouche said Intel would be bankrupt.

10:36 PM, November 24, 2007  
Blogger BONER said...

Why mention me, dearest burninator? This blog is a joke. Why should any of us treat it as anything else? I've already stated I believe sharikou is a grad student somewhere and will be writing a thesis on this little experiment. In the past his writings showed him to have a sharp mind with logic and reasoning skills far greater than what the average joe possesses. He's clearly bullshitting in any of his posts made in the last months or years. The sharikou I know him to be couldn't possibly post any of this shit and honestly believe any of it.

I think it's time for the experiment to end. This is what he has been waiting for anyways. Time to give him his exciting conclusion which will assuredly get him the degree he is after.

12:30 AM, November 25, 2007  
Blogger Giant said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

7:45 AM, November 25, 2007  
Blogger Randy Allen said...

JOIN THE OLPC AND AMD and help create a new world peace and prosperity.

In the end, if you're looking to make the most of a long-term investment, AMD is without a doubt the better platform choice than intel.

ONLY AMD and VIA have control of the trillion dollar low end market, no intel here.

intel out to lunch while the worlds largest market segment computes on with AMD, VIA, and IBM.

pentium 3 glue ups have no future.

World Wise investors have just placed nearly 700 million dollars into AMD stock, nobody is buying intel.

AMD attracts confident investors.

BUY AMD hi performance, energy saving, low cost cpus, platforms, video solutions and growth stock.

Please join AMD in its support of the OLPC and their effort to create World Peace and prosperity for all..

JOIN THE OLPC AND AMD and help create a new world peace and prosperity.

In the end, if you're looking to make the most of a long-term investment, AMD is without a doubt the better platform choice than intel.

ONLY AMD and VIA have control of the trillion dollar low end market, no intel here.

intel out to lunch while the worlds largest market segment computes on with AMD, VIA, and IBM.

pentium 3 glue ups have no future.

World Wise investors have just placed nearly 700 million dollars into AMD stock, nobody is buying intel.

AMD attracts confident investors.

BUY AMD hi performance, energy saving, low cost cpus, platforms, video solutions and growth stock.

Please join AMD in its support of the OLPC and their effort to create World Peace and prosperity for all..

JOIN THE OLPC AND AMD and help create a new world peace and prosperity.

In the end, if you're looking to make the most of a long-term investment, AMD is without a doubt the better platform choice than intel.

ONLY AMD and VIA have control of the trillion dollar low end market, no intel here.

intel out to lunch while the worlds largest market segment computes on with AMD, VIA, and IBM.

pentium 3 glue ups have no future.

World Wise investors have just placed nearly 700 million dollars into AMD stock, nobody is buying intel.

AMD attracts confident investors.

BUY AMD hi performance, energy saving, low cost cpus, platforms, video solutions and growth stock.

Please join AMD in its support of the OLPC and their effort to create World Peace and prosperity for all..

JOIN THE OLPC AND AMD and help create a new world peace and prosperity.

In the end, if you're looking to make the most of a long-term investment, AMD is without a doubt the better platform choice than intel.

ONLY AMD and VIA have control of the trillion dollar low end market, no intel here.

intel out to lunch while the worlds largest market segment computes on with AMD, VIA, and IBM.

pentium 3 glue ups have no future.

World Wise investors have just placed nearly 700 million dollars into AMD stock, nobody is buying intel.

AMD attracts confident investors.

BUY AMD hi performance, energy saving, low cost cpus, platforms, video solutions and growth stock.

Please join AMD in its support of the OLPC and their effort to create World Peace and prosperity for all..

JOIN THE OLPC AND AMD and help create a new world peace and prosperity.

In the end, if you're looking to make the most of a long-term investment, AMD is without a doubt the better platform choice than intel.

ONLY AMD and VIA have control of the trillion dollar low end market, no intel here.

intel out to lunch while the worlds largest market segment computes on with AMD, VIA, and IBM.

pentium 3 glue ups have no future.

World Wise investors have just placed nearly 700 million dollars into AMD stock, nobody is buying intel.

AMD attracts confident investors.

BUY AMD hi performance, energy saving, low cost cpus, platforms, video solutions and growth stock.

Please join AMD in its support of the OLPC and their effort to create World Peace and prosperity for all..

JOIN THE OLPC AND AMD and help create a new world peace and prosperity.

In the end, if you're looking to make the most of a long-term investment, AMD is without a doubt the better platform choice than intel.

ONLY AMD and VIA have control of the trillion dollar low end market, no intel here.

intel out to lunch while the worlds largest market segment computes on with AMD, VIA, and IBM.

pentium 3 glue ups have no future.

World Wise investors have just placed nearly 700 million dollars into AMD stock, nobody is buying intel.

AMD attracts confident investors.

BUY AMD hi performance, energy saving, low cost cpus, platforms, video solutions and growth stock.

Please join AMD in its support of the OLPC and their effort to create World Peace and prosperity for all..

JOIN THE OLPC AND AMD and help create a new world peace and prosperity.

In the end, if you're looking to make the most of a long-term investment, AMD is without a doubt the better platform choice than intel.

ONLY AMD and VIA have control of the trillion dollar low end market, no intel here.

intel out to lunch while the worlds largest market segment computes on with AMD, VIA, and IBM.

pentium 3 glue ups have no future.

World Wise investors have just placed nearly 700 million dollars into AMD stock, nobody is buying intel.

AMD attracts confident investors.

BUY AMD hi performance, energy saving, low cost cpus, platforms, video solutions and growth stock.

Please join AMD in its support of the OLPC and their effort to create World Peace and prosperity for all..

JOIN THE OLPC AND AMD and help create a new world peace and prosperity.

In the end, if you're looking to make the most of a long-term investment, AMD is without a doubt the better platform choice than intel.

ONLY AMD and VIA have control of the trillion dollar low end market, no intel here.

intel out to lunch while the worlds largest market segment computes on with AMD, VIA, and IBM.

pentium 3 glue ups have no future.

World Wise investors have just placed nearly 700 million dollars into AMD stock, nobody is buying intel.

AMD attracts confident investors.

BUY AMD hi performance, energy saving, low cost cpus, platforms, video solutions and growth stock.

Please join AMD in its support of the OLPC and their effort to create World Peace and prosperity for all..

JOIN THE OLPC AND AMD and help create a new world peace and prosperity.

In the end, if you're looking to make the most of a long-term investment, AMD is without a doubt the better platform choice than intel.

ONLY AMD and VIA have control of the trillion dollar low end market, no intel here.

intel out to lunch while the worlds largest market segment computes on with AMD, VIA, and IBM.

pentium 3 glue ups have no future.

World Wise investors have just placed nearly 700 million dollars into AMD stock, nobody is buying intel.

AMD attracts confident investors.

BUY AMD hi performance, energy saving, low cost cpus, platforms, video solutions and growth stock.

Please join AMD in its support of the OLPC and their effort to create World Peace and prosperity for all..

JOIN THE OLPC AND AMD and help create a new world peace and prosperity.

In the end, if you're looking to make the most of a long-term investment, AMD is without a doubt the better platform choice than intel.

ONLY AMD and VIA have control of the trillion dollar low end market, no intel here.

intel out to lunch while the worlds largest market segment computes on with AMD, VIA, and IBM.

pentium 3 glue ups have no future.

World Wise investors have just placed nearly 700 million dollars into AMD stock, nobody is buying intel.

AMD attracts confident investors.

BUY AMD hi performance, energy saving, low cost cpus, platforms, video solutions and growth stock.

Please join AMD in its support of the OLPC and their effort to create World Peace and prosperity for all..

JOIN THE OLPC AND AMD and help create a new world peace and prosperity.

In the end, if you're looking to make the most of a long-term investment, AMD is without a doubt the better platform choice than intel.

ONLY AMD and VIA have control of the trillion dollar low end market, no intel here.

intel out to lunch while the worlds largest market segment computes on with AMD, VIA, and IBM.

pentium 3 glue ups have no future.

World Wise investors have just placed nearly 700 million dollars into AMD stock, nobody is buying intel.

AMD attracts confident investors.

BUY AMD hi performance, energy saving, low cost cpus, platforms, video solutions and growth stock.

Please join AMD in its support of the OLPC and their effort to create World Peace and prosperity for all..

JOIN THE OLPC AND AMD and help create a new world peace and prosperity.

In the end, if you're looking to make the most of a long-term investment, AMD is without a doubt the better platform choice than intel.

ONLY AMD and VIA have control of the trillion dollar low end market, no intel here.

intel out to lunch while the worlds largest market segment computes on with AMD, VIA, and IBM.

pentium 3 glue ups have no future.

World Wise investors have just placed nearly 700 million dollars into AMD stock, nobody is buying intel.

AMD attracts confident investors.

BUY AMD hi performance, energy saving, low cost cpus, platforms, video solutions and growth stock.

Please join AMD in its support of the OLPC and their effort to create World Peace and prosperity for all..

JOIN THE OLPC AND AMD and help create a new world peace and prosperity.

In the end, if you're looking to make the most of a long-term investment, AMD is without a doubt the better platform choice than intel.

ONLY AMD and VIA have control of the trillion dollar low end market, no intel here.

intel out to lunch while the worlds largest market segment computes on with AMD, VIA, and IBM.

pentium 3 glue ups have no future.

World Wise investors have just placed nearly 700 million dollars into AMD stock, nobody is buying intel.

AMD attracts confident investors.

BUY AMD hi performance, energy saving, low cost cpus, platforms, video solutions and growth stock.

Please join AMD in its support of the OLPC and their effort to create World Peace and prosperity for all..

JOIN THE OLPC AND AMD and help create a new world peace and prosperity.

In the end, if you're looking to make the most of a long-term investment, AMD is without a doubt the better platform choice than intel.

ONLY AMD and VIA have control of the trillion dollar low end market, no intel here.

intel out to lunch while the worlds largest market segment computes on with AMD, VIA, and IBM.

pentium 3 glue ups have no future.

World Wise investors have just placed nearly 700 million dollars into AMD stock, nobody is buying intel.

AMD attracts confident investors.

BUY AMD hi performance, energy saving, low cost cpus, platforms, video solutions and growth stock.

Please join AMD in its support of the OLPC and their effort to create World Peace and prosperity for all..

JOIN THE OLPC AND AMD and help create a new world peace and prosperity.

In the end, if you're looking to make the most of a long-term investment, AMD is without a doubt the better platform choice than intel.

ONLY AMD and VIA have control of the trillion dollar low end market, no intel here.

intel out to lunch while the worlds largest market segment computes on with AMD, VIA, and IBM.

pentium 3 glue ups have no future.

World Wise investors have just placed nearly 700 million dollars into AMD stock, nobody is buying intel.

AMD attracts confident investors.

BUY AMD hi performance, energy saving, low cost cpus, platforms, video solutions and growth stock.

Please join AMD in its support of the OLPC and their effort to create World Peace and prosperity for all..

JOIN THE OLPC AND AMD and help create a new world peace and prosperity.

In the end, if you're looking to make the most of a long-term investment, AMD is without a doubt the better platform choice than intel.

ONLY AMD and VIA have control of the trillion dollar low end market, no intel here.

intel out to lunch while the worlds largest market segment computes on with AMD, VIA, and IBM.

pentium 3 glue ups have no future.

World Wise investors have just placed nearly 700 million dollars into AMD stock, nobody is buying intel.

AMD attracts confident investors.

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World Wise investors have just placed nearly 700 million dollars into AMD stock, nobody is buying intel.

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intel out to lunch while the worlds largest market segment computes on with AMD, VIA, and IBM.

pentium 3 glue ups have no future.

World Wise investors have just placed nearly 700 million dollars into AMD stock, nobody is buying intel.

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intel out to lunch while the worlds largest market segment computes on with AMD, VIA, and IBM.

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intel out to lunch while the worlds largest market segment computes on with AMD, VIA, and IBM.

pentium 3 glue ups have no future.

World Wise investors have just placed nearly 700 million dollars into AMD stock, nobody is buying intel.

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intel out to lunch while the worlds largest market segment computes on with AMD, VIA, and IBM.

pentium 3 glue ups have no future.

World Wise investors have just placed nearly 700 million dollars into AMD stock, nobody is buying intel.

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intel out to lunch while the worlds largest market segment computes on with AMD, VIA, and IBM.

pentium 3 glue ups have no future.

World Wise investors have just placed nearly 700 million dollars into AMD stock, nobody is buying intel.

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In the end, if you're looking to make the most of a long-term investment, AMD is without a doubt the better platform choice than intel.

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intel out to lunch while the worlds largest market segment computes on with AMD, VIA, and IBM.

pentium 3 glue ups have no future.

World Wise investors have just placed nearly 700 million dollars into AMD stock, nobody is buying intel.

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intel out to lunch while the worlds largest market segment computes on with AMD, VIA, and IBM.

pentium 3 glue ups have no future.

World Wise investors have just placed nearly 700 million dollars into AMD stock, nobody is buying intel.

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pentium 3 glue ups have no future.

World Wise investors have just placed nearly 700 million dollars into AMD stock, nobody is buying intel.

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intel out to lunch while the worlds largest market segment computes on with AMD, VIA, and IBM.

pentium 3 glue ups have no future.

World Wise investors have just placed nearly 700 million dollars into AMD stock, nobody is buying intel.

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intel out to lunch while the worlds largest market segment computes on with AMD, VIA, and IBM.

pentium 3 glue ups have no future.

World Wise investors have just placed nearly 700 million dollars into AMD stock, nobody is buying intel.

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intel out to lunch while the worlds largest market segment computes on with AMD, VIA, and IBM.

pentium 3 glue ups have no future.

World Wise investors have just placed nearly 700 million dollars into AMD stock, nobody is buying intel.

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intel out to lunch while the worlds largest market segment computes on with AMD, VIA, and IBM.

pentium 3 glue ups have no future.

World Wise investors have just placed nearly 700 million dollars into AMD stock, nobody is buying intel.

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ONLY AMD and VIA have control of the trillion dollar low end market, no intel here.

intel out to lunch while the worlds largest market segment computes on with AMD, VIA, and IBM.

pentium 3 glue ups have no future.

World Wise investors have just placed nearly 700 million dollars into AMD stock, nobody is buying intel.

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intel out to lunch while the worlds largest market segment computes on with AMD, VIA, and IBM.

pentium 3 glue ups have no future.

World Wise investors have just placed nearly 700 million dollars into AMD stock, nobody is buying intel.

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In the end, if you're looking to make the most of a long-term investment, AMD is without a doubt the better platform choice than intel.

ONLY AMD and VIA have control of the trillion dollar low end market, no intel here.

intel out to lunch while the worlds largest market segment computes on with AMD, VIA, and IBM.

pentium 3 glue ups have no future.

World Wise investors have just placed nearly 700 million dollars into AMD stock, nobody is buying intel.

AMD attracts confident investors.

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Please join AMD in its support of the OLPC and their effort to create World Peace and prosperity for all..

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In the end, if you're looking to make the most of a long-term investment, AMD is without a doubt the better platform choice than intel.

ONLY AMD and VIA have control of the trillion dollar low end market, no intel here.

intel out to lunch while the worlds largest market segment computes on with AMD, VIA, and IBM.

pentium 3 glue ups have no future.

World Wise investors have just placed nearly 700 million dollars into AMD stock, nobody is buying intel.

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Please join AMD in its support of the OLPC and their effort to create World Peace and prosperity for all..

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In the end, if you're looking to make the most of a long-term investment, AMD is without a doubt the better platform choice than intel.

ONLY AMD and VIA have control of the trillion dollar low end market, no intel here.

intel out to lunch while the worlds largest market segment computes on with AMD, VIA, and IBM.

pentium 3 glue ups have no future.

World Wise investors have just placed nearly 700 million dollars into AMD stock, nobody is buying intel.

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Please join AMD in its support of the OLPC and their effort to create World Peace and prosperity for all.

7:46 AM, November 25, 2007  
Blogger Giant said...

AMD PHENOM X2 AND X3 PRE-FRAGGED BY 18 MONTH OLD CORE 2 DUO DESIGNS:

http://www.erenumerique.fr/test_processeur_amd_phenom_x4_9600_drole_de_rel_ve_-art-1804-11.html

AMD BK by Q1'09.

9:40 AM, November 25, 2007  
Blogger Tonus said...

webmaster:

"It is the time to close this blog"

Or shut down the comment section, at least. Then again, the comments section reflects the main blog in some ways, I guess.

11:14 AM, November 25, 2007  
Blogger ThomasHOL said...

Why don’t people here just shut the fuck up and start posting useful comments? Since the release of Phenom the Intel fans has gone berserk and ruined this blog.

I mean this was not serious in the first place but I came here for the comedy and now you cant even read comments because idiots are copy pasting 1000 line answers. Can we please get back to the good old days where Sharikou would find one benchmark where Phenom beat Core2 and write that he was right all along. Or the Q2 “BK” of Intel (I know he moved it but anyway) predictions those were fun.

So lets just keep a friendly tone in the comments so the rest uf us can still enjoy the comedy.

3:28 PM, November 25, 2007  
Blogger Peter said...

I agree that this blog has outlived it's usefulness.

I used to come here for laughs to see what whacky stuff Sharikou comes up with next, but it seems even he has grown sick of it.

4:15 PM, November 25, 2007  
Blogger Evil_Merlin said...

This "blog" has been ruined since Sharidouche first started posting his lies on the 'net.

He has nothing but a bone to pick with Intel since he got FIRED from Intel.

Oh yeah, and he was fired for sexual harrassment.

4:43 PM, November 25, 2007  
Blogger BONER said...

You're wrong, evil_merlin!



It all started when...








































our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

1:25 AM, November 26, 2007  
Blogger Rodney said...

I'm nearly ashamed to admit it... but I still laugh nearly every time someone mentions the pink dildo of shame.

5:23 AM, November 26, 2007  
Blogger Facundo said...

I don´t understand why people speak about phenom, and benchmarks are made with phenom and nvidia chipset.

AMD last product is SPIDER, phenom is only part of it.

If you are going to benchmark let´s put the best of amd 4x HD3870 ... with amd best chipset and amd best chip.

The best of AMD is far superior than the best of Intel ... we are speaking about 3 times the performance of a pheryn with nvidia graphics that does not suport sli, and don´t speak about comparing with an all intel system.

REALIZE THAT HD3870 IS FAR SUPERIOR THAN BEST OF NVIDIA 8800GTS, AND YOU CAN PUT 4 OF THEM!!! WITH PHERYN YOU CAN PUT ONLY ONE NVIDIA 8800GTS... 4 HD RADEON Y NEAR 3.5 TIMES THE PERFORMANCE OF ONE OF THEM.

If you speak about power comsuntion, lets speak about power comsuntion of 55nm GPU, ...the power comsuntion of the front side bus, and ... the power comsuntion of phenom when you use only one core and shut down the others ... Intel cant do that.

Compare the small performance gain of 3ghz pheryn with a 2.3ghz phenom ... and then compare the prices. I can buy 4 phenoms whith this money, 4 phenoms is far superior that one pheryn. Who would be so retarded to buy a pheryn chip ???? juasss

The performance advantage of 4x radeon is not small, in history ... sometimes you have small jumps in performance , this is the case where AMD give a big performance jump with spider platform.

As some years before, when intelers pay atention to the Ghz of the chip while amd in performance ... now they only can see small performance gains in the chip while amd made big performance gains in the entire system.

Best of AMD (spider) is far away better than the best of Intel.

I cant imagine what would hapend if AMD sells 2P phenom or 4p phenom (16 cores) ... things that Intel can't do because of his old arquitecture.

Or ... if amd sells 2x radeon in one card ...

Don´t even mention fusion ...

It´s always funy to see how the small amd make beter products than the big intel. je

7:29 AM, November 26, 2007  
Blogger Aguia said...

Facundo,

All that nice discourse you have made has a big flaw, where would we find a PSU to feed all that?

AMD 4x4 dumb.
Intel V8 dumber.

7:55 AM, November 26, 2007  
Blogger Aguia said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

7:58 AM, November 26, 2007  
Blogger Aguia said...

He has nothing but a bone to pick with Intel since he got FIRED from Intel.

Wooo, does that mean we will see more Sharikou’s soon:

More Sharikous from Intel

8:28 AM, November 26, 2007  
Blogger Evil_Merlin said...

Oneexpert lies again:
intel has no linux support

if that was the case what the FUCK is this you fucking ignorant ASSCLOWN?


http://www.intellinuxgraphics.org/


Gotta love the quote from Ubuntu:

"Intel's commitment to providing high-quality drivers
that meet the needs of the mobile Linux community is second to none."




Facundo, do you have a problem with English? Apparently so. You also seem to have an issue with basic understanding of what Spider is, and what it does.


the simple fact of the matter is right now the Peryrn CLOCK FOR CLOCK is faster than the K10.

9:08 AM, November 26, 2007  
Blogger PENIX said...

Facundo said...
If you are going to benchmark let´s put the best of amd 4x HD3870 ... with amd best chipset and amd best chip.


Facundo makes a good point. If you really want to settle who is better, Intel or AMD, let's use an even platform.

Forget who has more MHz, or what the bus speed is. Let's see some raw performance from the best system that can be put together using components from the companies.

Take the best AMD CPU, chipset and graphics card and pit it against the best Intel CPU, chipset and graphics card. For the common componets, find the fastest the platform will take, then max it out.

I would love to see this test run, but in case it is never conducted, I will tell you the results right now: AMD's platform will drop kick Intel's right in the fucking face.

1:06 PM, November 26, 2007  
Blogger Evil_Merlin said...

I will tell you the results right now: AMD's platform will drop kick Intel's right in the fucking face.

only in the amount of power the AMD platform uses over the Intel platform...

1:56 PM, November 26, 2007  
Blogger Evil_Merlin said...

PS: considering you can't even get everything that yet makes up Spider, AMD would be ass raped.

1:56 PM, November 26, 2007  
Blogger Chuckula said...

Wow... to listen to Penix & aquia talk, you think that nobody anwhere ever even tested the AMD platform... OH POOR AMD! Whatever will we do!!

Oh wait... that's a bunch of bullshit since AMD practically forced reviewers to go to Tahoe at gunpoint in order to use the magical "spider" platform on engineering sample CPUs that you won't be able to buy for 6 months on carefully controlled demos that AMD prepared.

Have a gander at an actually honest review of the ENTIRE spider platform right:
here
And of Phenom running... AT AN AMD SPONSORED AND CONTROLLE D EVENT: HERE

So what's the verdict... did these magical "platforms" kick Intel's ass? Well... if AMD could ever fucking produce the hardware and fool fanboys into buying it.... still not. Even the fucking overclocked Phenoms you won't be able to buy until next Summer are not any faster than a Q6600 you could have bought a year ago... platform my ass. It's just a bunch of components everyone else has used for years with AMD stickers on the outside, and shitty, power-hogging performance on the inside.

6:42 PM, November 26, 2007  
Blogger Chuckula said...

One other thing... I find it extremely amusing that the fanboys on the one hand bitch about Nvidia cards being used with Phenoms when that is how you get the best performance in games!
The 3870 may be the first half-assed decent graphics card AMD made since the merger... but it's still slower than an 8800GT.

So AMD fanboys.. what are you saying? Are you saying that AMD has sabotaged it's own parts so they won't work with industry-standard components? Are you saying that AMD has intentionally crippled the 3870's so they won't be as fast on Intel platforms... the most popular platforms by far for gamers?? Are you saying that AMD's obsession with putting stickers on normal components and calling it a "platform" is going to cost the company BILLIONS in lost sales just so some blond marketing whore can put on a show for you??
How fucking stupid are you? How much do you really want to destroy AMD??

6:50 PM, November 26, 2007  
Blogger Giant said...

´s put the best of amd 4x HD3870

Brilliant idea! Never mind that the driver will only use two of the video cards in Crossfire! I propose we use the most demanding game out there for this benchmark: Crysis. Oops. You can't even use Crysis in Crossfire.

AMD BK Q1'09.

7:14 PM, November 26, 2007  
Blogger oneexpert said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

8:40 PM, November 26, 2007  
Blogger oneexpert said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

9:05 PM, November 26, 2007  
Blogger terry said...

u r rite oneexpert!

good comments..

u all wont get friutful ideas from intelers post

coz all intelers only post anything that relate to pornography which doesnt give any good to the world except the downfall of morality, ethics, and manners.

shame to intelers

9:09 PM, November 26, 2007  
Blogger Giant said...

Will Negroponte's crappy little laptop give starving children in Africa access to food? Or to clean drinking water? Or to medicine and vaccinations? I didn't think so.

Until there is a laptop that can magically produce the basic essentials I think I'll continue to donate my money to worthwhile charities rather than a laughable organization that plans to give starving children a laptop!

9:18 PM, November 26, 2007  
Blogger oneexpert said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

9:48 PM, November 26, 2007  
Blogger oneexpert said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

9:56 PM, November 26, 2007  
Blogger Giant said...

Will Negroponte's crappy little laptop give starving children in Africa access to food? Or to clean drinking water? Or to medicine and vaccinations? I didn't think so.

Until there is a laptop that can magically produce the basic essentials I think I'll continue to donate my money to worthwhile charities rather than a laughable organization that plans to give starving children a laptop!


Seen AMD stock lately oneexpert? They're worth $5.6bn now. They paid $5.4bn for ATi!! $200M to go.

AMD BK Q1'09.

10:16 PM, November 26, 2007  
Blogger Ho Ho said...

"Thats right, intel and its associates, have tried to derail the OLPC charity effort to help impoverished childern world wide."

Since when is competition bad for people, especially in low-priced segments?


"So this is how intel supports linux by trying to substitute windows for linux."

Erm, it was OLPC people who made the thing support Windows, not Intel.

1:02 AM, November 27, 2007  
Blogger Aguia said...

Chucktrola,

The 3870 may be the first half-assed decent graphics card AMD made since the merger... but it's still slower than an 8800GT.

Maybe because Nvidia decreases image quality in trade of performance and Ati does the opposite?

From VRZone:
In the first 2 pictures, we can discern a slight difference with the HD3870 giving better tonal range in the glass and at the curved edge, we can see that slightly more detail is rendered on the HD3870 than the 8800GT. In the next set of pictures from Crysis, there are more details on the surface of the rocks (mid-top & lower-right) from the HD3870. In both instances, the differences are not obvious at a glance and we can't say for sure that they would be noticed in gameplay or how much of a performance impact would be caused as a result.

Image Quality Testing

Why does any site that compares image quality says the Ati is better?

3:09 AM, November 27, 2007  
Blogger Aguia said...

Chucktrola,
Are you saying that AMD has sabotaged it's own parts so they won't work with industry-standard components? Are you saying that AMD has intentionally crippled the 3870's so they won't be as fast on Intel platforms...

Well check out this review:
Gigabyte GA-MA790FX-DQ6

The X1950PRO is running at its normal speed with the Nvidia board, but with the Ati board the score jumped by 2X in 3Dmark 2006.
Is that improving or crippling?

The Intel processors perform better with Intel chipsets now is it Intel that improves theirs or is it the others that are crippling their products?

3:23 AM, November 27, 2007  
Blogger Jeach! said...

Evil_Merlin said...

Another cut-and-paste of his last post/comments which were discredited by none other than... me!

Evil_Merlin, you will actually respond with absolutely anything so long as you respond? What's with that?

Someone said bench the best with the best... your comment about availability has nothing to do with his point!

Agree with you that AMD seems to have supply issues but don't mix the two!

Giant said...

Another useless comment about AMD stock! What is it with you and the AMD stock? You would think that someone with a fixation as the one you have shown would put you in the AMD camp! In denial maybe?

Once again Giant... the AMD stock has nothing to do... I repeat, nothing to do with its products and/or architecture.

There is no correlation between the AMD stock price and the companies success/performance. When AMD was making a profit, the stock was over valued. When AMD is loosing money it is undervalued and now that the semiconductor industry is out of favor in general, the stock is crushed!

The only correlation there is with the AMD stock is investor (millions of them) mood, blogs, articles and press releases and of some more importance (which is disgusting) stock analysts opinions.

Besides if your so bright in stock picking you must have made a fortune of late by shorting AMD?

6:00 AM, November 27, 2007  
Blogger Evil_Merlin said...

You fucking MORON, BENCH THE BEST?

AMD DOESN'T YET OFFER SPIDER TO THE PUBLIC. Are you saying that we can use unreleased products? If so there are quite a few Intel and Nvidia products out there that can be used.

As usual, the fucking Sharidouche worshipping fanbois need to move the goalposts all over the place because they cannot keep up with the fact that Intel is currently in the performance, power and price/watt challenge. Of course, a few months ago AMD fanbois were claiming that they had the lead in all three. Funny thing...

So sure, lets bench AMD's best right now against Intel's best RIGHT NOW and you will see AMD gets blasted into the fucking depths.

Are you fucking fanbois that fucking stupid?


You must be, because apparently oneexpert thinks there are one TRILLION people on the planet.

6:12 AM, November 27, 2007  
Blogger One said...

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

6:15 AM, November 27, 2007  
Blogger One said...

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

6:16 AM, November 27, 2007  
Blogger One said...

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

6:16 AM, November 27, 2007  
Blogger One said...

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.
It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.
It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

6:16 AM, November 27, 2007  
Blogger One said...

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

6:17 AM, November 27, 2007  
Blogger One said...

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

6:17 AM, November 27, 2007  
Blogger Facundo said...

Chuckula dijo...
Have a gander at an actually honest review of the ENTIRE spider platform right:
here
And of Phenom running... AT AN AMD SPONSORED AND CONTROLLE D EVENT: HERE

The first one have no benchmark and the second one has no benchmarks of spider, they use nvidia, there is no hd3870 graphics.

hd3870 is superior from 10% to 40% comparing nvdia 8800GTS, depending on the game ... and better image quality. Then I don´t have of 4x crossfire, but I imagine that this advantage percerts get higher comaparing with a 2x nvidia cards and higher comparing with 1x penryn graphics.

All that is posible with HT 3.0, without it you would have 10% less graphic power.

HD3800 uses about 20% less of cpu in hd playbak and it consumes less power than best nvidia card.

It seems that AMD now can bring his elegant arquitect to have real performance advantage in desktops and smalls servers the same way they did with superservers. These days, we are talking about 4 CPU in a desktop pc, and 4 GPU ... and this is only de begining. AMD salability gives a great advantage over intel for future pcs.

6:37 AM, November 27, 2007  
Blogger Jeach! said...

Evil_Merlin said...

You fucking MORON, BENCH THE BEST?

As usual, the fucking Sharidouche worshipping fanbois [...]

Are you fucking fanbois that fucking stupid?


Yep, I'm 'THE' AMD fanboi and don't you forget it!!!

I own you Evil ("the terrible") Merlin :)

Each and every time you come out without a valid defense or point and the use of profanity and attempt at degrading others, all of which makes your blood boil. I could feel your anger!

I sit at home calm and relaxed and know I cause you much frustration!

Go ahead blast me some more... call me more names... I'm playing your game!

7:01 AM, November 27, 2007  
Blogger Evil_Merlin said...

The only thing you "own" jeach! is Sharidouches used condoms.

You like to rub them on yourself.

Its the fucking internet you moron, unlike Howell, I don't get mad, angry or anything else (ok I'll admit I do get some amusement outta seeing Sharidouche make a repeated ass of himself, and love the utter stupidity that flows forth from the fingers of oneexpert).

I'm still waiting to see how you plan on benchmarking a platform that isn't even out yet...


Oh yeah.


Fuckwit.

7:31 AM, November 27, 2007  
Blogger One said...

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

7:32 AM, November 27, 2007  
Blogger One said...

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE


AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE


AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE


AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

7:33 AM, November 27, 2007  
Blogger One said...

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE


AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE


AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE


AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE


AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

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AMD FANBOYS HAVE SMALL PENISES AND LIE

7:33 AM, November 27, 2007  
Blogger PENIX said...

The Intel fanboys have been backed into a corner and now they have abandoned logic and resorted to name calling and spam.

Sharikou, I think it's time to stop allowing these morons to participate. It's time to take out the trash.

8:18 AM, November 27, 2007  
Blogger Giant said...

For once I agree with Penix. The spammers posting this garbage should be stopped

AMD STOCK BELOW $10. I'm glad I didn't take Penix's advice and sell my house and buy AMD stock. If I did, I'd be out in the street homeless!

8:34 AM, November 27, 2007  
Blogger Evil_Merlin said...

Intel fanboi's backed into a corner?

How so fuckwit?

1.) Intel currently holds the performance crown
2.) Intel currently holds the power crown for both idle and load (espeically high loads where the Phenom can be sucking down TWICE the power of a similarly clocked Peryrn).
3.) Intel currently holds the price per watt crown.


I'm not quite sure what fucked up world you live in where that means Intel is backed into the corner. If by your logic Intel is backed into the corner, AMD is stuck between the seams in the wall.

9:05 AM, November 27, 2007  
Blogger Aguia said...

For once I agree with Penix. The spammers posting this garbage should be stopped

I agree with Giant and Penix.
Sharikou how hard is to press the delete botton.
But dont forget to not do the same Scientia does.


AMD STOCK BELOW $10. I'm glad I didn't take Penix's advice and sell my house and buy AMD stock. If I did, I'd be out in the street homeless!

LOL :)

9:36 AM, November 27, 2007  
Blogger Evil_Merlin said...

If Sharikou needs to start deleting spam trash, he should avoid posting span trash on his blog front page.

9:55 AM, November 27, 2007  
Blogger Christian M. Howell said...

Its the fucking internet you moron, unlike Howell, I don't get mad, angry or anything else

I don't get mad. I'm a violent ex-paratrooper and would be smiling while I stomped your face in for all of your name-calling.

You clown little bitch. Or would that be bitchy little clown? Oh well, whatever.

11:37 AM, November 27, 2007  
Blogger BONER said...

I find it amusing that since I first posted my story and evil_merlin and I have nearly closed this blog with spamming that now suddenly the "other" amd fagbois like penix have been resurrected. This blog was on the verge of extinction because it was getting boring and I don't think it's coincidence that the retarded AMD people just decided to start coming back. It has to be sharikou trying to keep the experiment going. Time to finish this shit off.

Seriously, sharikou, it's over.

12:11 PM, November 27, 2007  
Blogger BONER said...

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

12:11 PM, November 27, 2007  
Blogger BONER said...

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

12:12 PM, November 27, 2007  
Blogger Evil_Merlin said...

I already offered, once not twice to fly you to Boston, but you seem to either not answer or somehow forget to understand how to read or something.

You may be an ex-paratrooper, but the only place your boot would be going is up your rectum... I bet you couldn't handle the military (if you even were in it) just like you couldn't handle working for Microsoft.


Howell, e-thugging and lovin' it.

yellow bellied pussy

12:12 PM, November 27, 2007  
Blogger BONER said...

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

12:14 PM, November 27, 2007  
Blogger BONER said...

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHomo calmly assured him that most albino cats grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sharicum slurper. Why was OneDipshitHomo trying to distract Sharicum slurper? Because he had snuck out from Sharicum slurper's with the pink dildo of shame only seven days prior. It was a enchanting little pink dildo of shame... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sharicum slurper got back to the subject at hand: his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo yawned. Relunctantly, OneDipshitHomo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pink dildo of shame. Sharicum slurper grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, OneDipshitHomo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pink dildo of shame and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Sharicum slurper took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Sharicum slurper would get there. But if he took the sybian? Then OneDipshitHomo would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, OneDipshitHomo was interrupted by two oafish cum spitting cobras that were lured by his pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the sybian rolling up. It was Sharicum slurper.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Sharicum slurper was out of the sybian and went indiscriminately jaunting toward OneDipshitHomo's front door. Meanwhile inside, OneDipshitHomo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pink dildo of shame into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. OneDipshitHomo was pleased but at least the pink dildo of shame was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' OneDipshitHomo scandalously purred. With a heroic push, Sharicum slurper opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' OneDipshitHomo assured him. Sharicum slurper took a seat ridiculously far from where OneDipshitHomo had hidden the pink dildo of shame. OneDipshitHomo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sharicum slurper was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, OneDipshitHomo noticed a dimwitted look on Sharicum slurper's face. Sharicum slurper slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

OneDipshitHomo felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Sharicum slurper asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pink dildo of shame right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Sharicum slurper's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sharicum slurper nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before OneDipshitHomo could react, Sharicum slurper carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pink dildo of shame was plainly in view.

Sharicum slurper stared at OneDipshitHomo for what what must've been four nanoseconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, OneDipshitHomo groped flamboyantly in Sharicum slurper's direction, clearly desperate. Sharicum slurper grabbed the pink dildo of shame and bolted for the door. It was locked. OneDipshitHomo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sharicum slurper,' he rebuked. OneDipshitHomo always had been a little abrasive, so Sharicum slurper knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before OneDipshitHomo did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his pink dildo of shame tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

OneDipshitHomo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sharicum slurper. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sharicum slurper. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. OneDipshitHomo walked over to the window and looked down. Sharicum slurper was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Sharicum slurper was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind OneDipshitHomo's place. Sharicum slurper had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cum spitting cobras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pink dildo of shame. One by one they latched on to Sharicum slurper. Already weakened from his injury, Sharicum slurper yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cum spitting cobras running off with his pink dildo of shame.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sharicum slurper's pink dildo of shame. Feeling displeased, God smote the cum spitting cobras for their injustice. Then He got in His hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Sharicum slurper tripped with joy when he saw this. His pink dildo of shame was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, Seinfeld, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet unborn fetus'). Sharicum slurper was thrilled. And so, everyone except OneDipshitHomo and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

It all started when our (former porn) star, Sharicum slurper, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Sharicum slurper groped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pink dildo of shame was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, OneDipshitHomo. Sharicum slurper had known OneDipshitHomo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. OneDipshitHomo was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... stupid. Sharicum slurper called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

OneDipshitHomo picked up to a very glad Sharicum slurper. OneDipshitHom