Thursday, December 22, 2005

Hector calling Malaysia

Based on this news.

Recorded Announcement: Welcome to AMD Malaysia, where customer-centric innovation is our prime directive...

X: AMD Malaysia, X speaking...

Hector: What is going on? Some big customers are calling me, they need more X2s. Hire 500 temps and get them done!

X: Sir. We are running out of plastic.

Hector: what??

X: Sir. We planned a max of 20% increase of shipment over Q3, with 5% cushion. You see, actually, Mr. Rivet only projected 7-13% increase. But we are now over 25%.

Hector: what?!

X: I am calling the suppliers to get more, but they are asking for double price, up to 50 cents each.

Hector: damn. That's robbery, plain and simple! Pay them whatever money they want. Wait, do we have dies?

X: Fortunately, FAB36 dies are coming over now, they are loading a 747 Cargo plane. we have no shortage of that.

Hector: Thank gawd, thanks, bye....Get Mr. Rivet on the phone...

Rivet: Sir, we will have a blow out Q4, beating estimates huge.

Hector: I know, but Wall Street crooks will say we have a history of spotty execution and failed to capture the 40% Q/Q growth potential... or is Henri Richard doing his job too well?

Rivet: Well, I heard his dual core duel video generated a lot of hits. SUN borrowed the idea and is now challenging DELL for a duel.

Hector: The dude is weak and scared, he won't show up.

Rivet: I thought so too. How do we handle the the crooks on the street?

Hector: We can't control their mouths, they can always find ways to say bad things. But let's send out a message..

Rivet: what message...?

Hector: Let's hold an analyst meeting to show some ass kicking stuff, our next gen mass destruction weapons.

Rivet: got it, I will allocate 5 million dollars for that event.

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